when the door you seek... is right there...

I have been accused of flitting from topic to topic, plan to plan, path to path.

It's a fair criticism of me. I could say it's the INFP in me coming to play. That would be true, to an extent. I've spent so much time in the last 10 years trying to find the right path, the right door to open. Looking for the things that makes me happy. I have dove deep into many hobbies. I've followed many paths part of the way. I've found a new shiny thing and let it divert my attention. I've rediscovered old dreams, old habits, old joys and considered once again.

I've let myself get wrapped up in things, in wants, in trying to keep up with other people. I've tried to force my life into something acceptable to others. Through it all, I wanted, I strove to think, to cast about, to look, for that one special door that I could step through. That one path that led to contentment with what I could do, what I could offer in life.

Even as recently as yesterday, as late as noon today, a few hours ago, I was spinning in place. Asking myself, are my plans right, will they open that door to the world I want.

When it hit me like the proverbial load of bricks, the door I wanted, the path I needed, was right there. I've already walked through it. In and out the door dozens of times in the last year. It's possible that things could be better. It's possible that more changes are to come. I've been too busy thinking I still sought the 'answer', to realize that the door has already been uncovered and I've been using it.

The door I sought, is right over there. It's been hiding behind me, me, wanting to try to force it to grow, become something else faster than it may be able to. The fact of the matter is, the door is fine, the path well groomed, were there nothing more to happen along the path, it fills the answer, the need, the want.

So my friends, when you aren't sure any more...
Look around you, it's possible that the door you're seeking is right over there...