a long time, no posting

a long time, no posting...

In this digital world one should be able to squeeze a few precious minutes in order to post for the living, the curious, the digital. It's been a long spell since the last post. Many things have happened. Some good, some bad.

My ground school completed. The scout troop did well, learned a lot, and enjoyed their flying. If I have inspired any of them to someday come back to the dream of flight, then I have done a good thing in the world.

Earlier in the blog I posted about a friend of mine that passed on New Years morning. I am very sad to say that some sixty short days later his younger brother also passed due to unforeseen complications of a fairly simple medical procedure. This shook my world to its very foundations. I find that even now, several months later, it still brings me up short at times. Both of these friends meant a lot to me. I've tried to make some sense of it and cannot. It is the way life works though. The universe rolls on, and good people fall beneath the wheel.

This loss triggered another bout of introspection, soul searching, reinterpretation of what my life must be, must mean. All of this to no avail. I have found myself just as aimless in my course across the sea of life as I have always been. Though perhaps I feel the loss of time, of opportunity, more keenly now than I have ever before. I attempt to heal, to find the one true path to follow. Only to be cast upon the rocks once more, bruised, battered, disgusted with my life, my lack of progress.

I posted in the past of grand plans of my degree, of finding a purpose going forward, of listening to the life lessons of my departed friend, only to find myself again drifting again. Treading water as I conceive of, put in place, and feebly try to execute another start on a path.

Will this one work, this attempted restart? I don't know. I have to hope I will finally make some progress. If it fails again, like so many other false starts, at least I will have tried to move my mired wheels forward another fraction of an inch.

Nobody ever said life was easy.

Time to pull myself up by my bootstraps again.